A nasty surprise

Distracted and distant,
In need of escape,
Tonight my mind wanders,
To a cat in a cape.

Silently searching,
Wide eyes see all,
From atop the counter,
The cat did fall.

With a hurried shriek,
Cape trailing in air,
The cat hits the ground,
With a thump of despair.

Feet pointed up,
The cape’s caused this mess,
“But if I missed my landing
I must be something less!”

A cat lands on feet,
All knows this as fact.
“I must not be feline
What curiosity I’ll attract!”

“Perhaps I’m a dog..
No I’m far too pretty!
Or maybe a hedgehog,
Well no I’m not prickly!
(Well my personality can be…)

I’ve a coat of fur,
Sleek and shiny.
I know Harry Potter!
I could be Hermoine!
(Well the time she drank polyjuice potion)

I’m probably a cat…
Or  I could be a skunk,
Or a big loaming elephant
With a curious trunk..
Is a trunk a nose?
Can they smell and snort?
Such a funny creature
No I’m much too short..

Well how did this happen!
My damn human’s fault,
Placing cape round my neck,
A form of assault.

I must get revenge,
But what can I do…
They do love their clothes…
I’ll cover them with poo!

I’m a motherfucking cat,
Be careful how you treat me…
Cause If you’re not careful,
Things could get awfully… shitty 😉

But I can’t stop there..
Phase one of my plan..
To ruin your life..
I’ll do all that I can!

But first you must feed me..
Meow Meow I’m a cat!
See I’m cute a cuddly,
Anyone can see that!

But I won’t forget the cape.
Nor your  other transgressions.
The mess that I will make,
Will leave quite the impression..

But I’m still confused…
Am I cat?

 

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